I'm Just One Of The Boys...

themuseswithin 17.3 - Frustration

Tue, 01 Sep 2009 16:56:56 GMT

Lou wasn't the type of woman to let anyone see her cry. She just wasn't. It wasn't in her nature and she had learned a long time ago that if someone saw you cry, they automatically thought of you as weak. She had worked very hard to make sure no one ever saw her in that kind of a state if she could help it.

That would be why, after the talk with Jimmy, she had thrown herself up on her horse and taken off. She needed to take some time to get herself calmed down and back under control before she had to see any of the others. It just wouldn't do for anyone of them to see that she was so upset. It would cause questions that she didn't want to deal with -- and assumptions that she didn't want to listen to.

As her horse ran over the terrain, Lou angrily batted tears off of her cheeks.

James Butler Hickok was one of the most stubborn and frustrating people she had ever met -- and she had met plenty. He wasn't going to allow her to love him because she might get hurt? Who did he think he was and what gave him the right to decide what she could and couldn't do? She could get hurt just being the person she was! Hell, she had gotten shot on her very first ride -- not to mention that her own Pa had been ready to shoot her to keep her from taking her brother away from him.

She didn't need someone to protect her -- and especially not from how she felt. She hadn't decided on falling in love with him, it had just happened, and he was pushing her away. He said it was because he wasn't good for her, but she wondered if there was some other reason there.

After all, she wasn't like all of those fancy ladies that they always saw places. She didn't have tons of dresses and more money or hair than brains. She could ride and shoot as well as any of the boys -- and sometimes even better. She was proud of the things she had accomplished.

Lou sighed, rubbing her eyes as she slowed her horse to a walk. She should head back to the station before anyone got worried about her or asked questions if they had seen her tear out of there.

Maybe she'd talk to Emma after supper.

It was a better idea than throwing something at Jimmy's head just because he was being stubborn.

Muse: Lou McCloud
Fandom: The Young Riders
Words: 430

Wed, 19 Aug 2009 13:25:01 GMT

When to say my true feelings?

themuseswithin 14.2 - Metallica - Turn the Page

Fri, 19 Jun 2009 15:05:12 GMT

Another day, another ride.

Lou has just passed along her pack to the next rider and she swings down off of her horse, dust kicked up as she lands on the ground. This last one had been a longer ride than usual since her relief wasn't at the station he was supposed to be. Not wanting to take a chance that something had happened to him, she had ridden on. It wasn't that unusual for a Rider to take on a double trip, but usually they had advanced warning they were going to be doing so.

Lou hadn't. This meant the boys weren't expecting her to be gone as long as she was gonna be.

She sighs, shaking her head. She knows she needs to get a message sent back to Sweetwater before a search party is organized and sent out for her. No sense in worrying the boys needlessly. And she knows. Whether some of them will admit it or not, they will be worried about her. There's been trouble on some of the runs lately and they were all on guard. Emma thinks they should ride in pairs, but Teaspoon knows that there are just not enough Riders to keep up that kind of schedule for more than a few days.

She puts her hat back on her head and walks toward the bunkhouse that's set up for the Riders. It's not as nice as her home in Sweetwater, but it's nicer than camping out in the open. She thinks about eating a meal and then getting on a fresh horse to start the ride back home. She thinks about riding all night to get home and get rid of all of this energetic tension that has been building up in her.

But she doesn't want another horse, she wants her horse. Her horse needs food and rest after the pace they had kept up to get here -- and Lou's not that fond of the idea of heading out into the darkness tonight.

Later, she lays awake in the bunk and stares at the ceiling.

Things between her and Kid are still a little tense after she had told him that she couldn't be the girl he wanted her to be. She had broken his heart and now they are all dealing with it. The problem is that Kid knows eactly why she broke his heart and that only causes more tension in the group. She wonders if she should leave the Riders to keep the tension from tearing them all apart or even getting a transfer to another station and out of Sweetwater.

The thought of either decision causes a sharp pain to flare up in her chest. Those boys are her family and the idea of leaving them is one that makes her hurt deeply. The idea of leaving Jimmy makes the pain even harder to bear.

She turns on her side, pillowing her arm beneath her head. She can't abide the thought of losing the closest thing to a real family she has had in years. She'll do her best to see this through; do her best to cause the tensions to ease.

As she closes her eyes and tries to fall asleep, it's Jimmy's face that she sees in her mind. Jimmy's face that she wants to see when she heads back to Sweetwater.

Tomorrow will be another day and another page turned in the story of the Riders. She only hopes it won't be the end of the story caused by the fact that she's in love with the one Rider who seems to think she shouldn't love him.

Muse: Lou McCloud
Fandom: The Young Riders
Words: 607

Sat, 13 Jun 2009 00:18:19 GMT

One day maybe I will understand.

Sat, 13 Jun 2009 00:17:25 GMT

Love ain't never been very easy.

Tue, 02 Jun 2009 15:03:29 GMT

Ever feel invisible to someone's eyes?

Tue, 02 Jun 2009 15:02:22 GMT

Love can really make you dumb.

Fri, 27 Mar 2009 15:39:56 GMT

What happens if I say it?

Wed, 18 Mar 2009 14:47:57 GMT

Cowboys are the most ~~pig-headed and~~ stubborn people!

Mon, 16 Mar 2009 18:23:52 GMT

For him, I'd give it up.

For sixwordstories

Wed, 13 Jun 2007 16:55:37 GMT

Say you will believe in me.

For ineffablefandom June B : In Dreams...

Sun, 10 Jun 2007 20:43:22 GMT

Lou screamed, trying to get away from him as he kept coming at her. She kept firing her gun, but nothing was going to stop Tyler Dewitt. She cried out again as he grabbed her and crushed her against him.

"You want me, Louise."

She broke away from him, shoving him back as she tried to put distance between them. She picked up her gun again and aimed it at him.

"Stay away from me."

"You don't mean that. You want me just like I want you and I will have you."

"No, I told you to stay away from me. I don't want you! We don't have anything in common."

But he kept coming and every shot she fired at him missed. He kept coming and all she knew was that she didn't want him to touch her again. She had been foolish, letting herself care for him because he treated her like a special lady. She kept scrambling backwards and firing her gun, but all too soon she was out of bullets and he was on her. He pinned her to him and looked down into her brusied face.

"I told you, I never take no for an answer."

Lou woke from the nightmare with a gasp and lay there for a long moment. She was in the bunkhouse. She was safe. She was shaking so hard she thought she might come clean apart, and there were tears fighting to make their way free.

She had to get out of here before she woke any of the boys up.

She dropped lightly to the ground from her bunk and after slipping into her jeans, she made her way quietly outside and out to the corral. There, she leaned against the rough wooden posts and was able to react to the nightmare without fear of waking anyone up.

Muse: Lou McCloud
Fandom: "Young Riders"
Words: 312